How do we examine whether a personalized experience feels intrusive?
Skip the big debate about whether personalization is good and look at one specific moment where the service uses information. Note what the customer did and what the system proposes to infer, then ask whether that inference is necessary for the current service.
The anticipatory panel described customers wanting help that feels invited, and that's a useful frame for the review. Ask whether the customer would reasonably expect their information to be used that way.
Have privacy and other responsible specialists review the actual data path. A friendly message doesn't make an inappropriate data use acceptable.
Then test it with people outside the design
Bring the experience to people who weren't involved in designing it. They can tell you what they think the service knows, how it learned that and what control they expect. Don't lead them toward reassurance.
Use what you hear to narrow, explain or remove the feature where needed. That should leave a service whose information use and customer control can hold up under a direct explanation.
What to try this week
Pick one personalized moment in your service and write down what the customer did, what the system infers and why that inference is necessary.